GOOGLE RULES!

You can’t have missed reading about incoming house speaker Nancy Pelosi, who this month became the highest ranking elected woman in U.S. history. The Los Angeles Times did several front page stories on the celebrations in Washington designed to introduce Ms. Pelosi to the nation.

Because Nancy Pelosi is not as well known to the nation as she is in her representative state, California, the Times published her Bio.

“Nancy Patricia D'Alesandro Pelosi
Age: 66
Birthplace: Baltimore
Education: Bachelor’s degree, Trinity College in Washington D.C. 1962

The bio went on and on until it got to some really interesting stuff:

Favorite TV show: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Favorite culinary specialty: Chocolate mousse,
Google hits: More than 2 million,”

GOOGLE HITS!!?

And there it is. Proof positive that Google is now the Mother of all Who’s Who’s. You want to know how important someone is? Google them. You want to know how important you are? Google you!

Just in case you have been on another planet for the last 10 years and don’t know what “Google” is, here’s a quick overview. When a person’s name is used in a book, a movie, a newspaper, a blog, a congressional record, any written source that is mentioned on the Internet, it is stored in Google. All you have to do is Google that person’s name and Google will give you a list of their accomplishments. Common belief is that the longer the list, the more popular the person. It’s a kind of celebrity thermometer. A constantly changing gauge of who's hot and who’s not. Google is so popular today, I’m considering having a calling card printed with no web or email address, no street or phone numbers. Just the name, “Lloyd Thaxton” and the words, “Google me.”

I couldn’t help but Google Ms. Pelosi to double-check her “More than 2 million hits” claim. Actually it turned out to be 2,170,000. That information got me rolling. To see how our own Nancy Patricia D'Alesandro Pelosi stacked up to the competition, I started checking out other heavyweights for comparison..

I started with Paris Hilton. For some reason unknown to me, she seems to be the “Celebrity de Jour.” I found it awed (pun intended) that Ms. Hilton scored an incredible 52,300,000. But wait. This figure comes with a caveat. Paris Hilton, the celebrity, is lumped in with the Paris Hilton, the hotel. Having a hotel named after you (or vice-versa in her case) can help your score considerably.

Then I Googled another celeb in the news, Donald Trump. He came in with 2,090,000. With that figure he can really gloat over Rosie O’Donnell. She only got 1,670,000. However, take out the two major Trump real estate holdings and Donald drops to 1,745,000. That’s less than a difference of 100,000. With the Google numbers constantly changing every day, I wouldn’t bet on either one at a Donald Trump Casino.

Republicans will be glad to hear that President George W. Bush racked up a healthy 54,700, 000 to Hillary Clinton’s 4,240,000. However, Saddam Hussein wasn’t far behind Bush with 42,600,000. It remains to be seen if the news reports on his recent demise will keep him alive (Googly speaking, that is).



Being on a roll, I decided to check on the Father of our country, George Washington. As expected, he was the big winner so far with 229,000,000. But you have to consider how long he’s been doing his thing, getting a lot of parks, schools, bridges, libraries, streets, books, monuments and major athletes named after him.



Just as I was about to close my poll, I had an epiphany. I Googled … “GOOGLE!”

How about just under ONE BILLION???.

And you wondered why they gave themselves that silly name.

Before you ask, Britney Spears got 15,900,000.

And counting.

Stay tuned.