STOP THAT FREAKIN' DANCIN'
I recently read a Los Angeles Times article, written by Staff Writers Seema Mehta and Ashley Powers, titled: “O.C. high school writes rules to take 'freak' out of dancing,” As Nixon might have said, “I am not a prude,” however, as a former dance show host, I felt I must add my two cents.
In case you’re not on the same planet as today’s teen-agers and haven’t heard of freak dancing, take my word for it; it’s the latest rage. Critics explain, “The dance’s carnal positions - girl bent at the waist, boy thrusting behind her - go far beyond previous generations’ bumping and grinding.” My question: “Do all those freaking kids really know what the freak they are doing?” It’s quite obvious, fellow Mouse Cliquers, this is not the Hully Gully we are talking about here.
According to the LA Times article, the principal of the south Orange County California high school has lifted a nearly three-month-long dancing ban he instituted after seeing teenagers' sexually suggestive moves at school dances that were "one step from events that should be occurring on wedding nights."
“The principal’s new guidelines forbid students from ‘straddling each other's legs, bending over, dancing front-to-back, grinding, touching breasts, buttocks or genitals, or ‘making out,’ and require students to keep both feet on the floor.’”
Can you baby boomers possibly imagine having to live by rules like these when you went to high school? “No touching buttocks or genitals?” School principals seemed to have turned into real fuddy-duddies. How can the kids of today have any fun at all?
One 15-year old sophomore fought back, “Do we now have to dance 3 feet apart and yell to our date, 'Hey I'm having a great time?'” She predicted that the rules might keep students off the dance floor.
And all along you thought the kids just wanted to dance. Time to get real.
Let’s clear this up once and for all. The name “Freak Dancing” is not meant to describe weird looking people dancing the night away. “Freak” is the now acceptable “F-word;” One that a radio or TV personality can utter without being fined by the Federal Communications Commission (as in, “Freak the freakin’ FCC!”).
The kids of today must think we boomers were really square back in the good old Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll 60s. For instance note Little Eva in the above picture with her pretty white party dress and me in my narrow suit and tie lining up those hip kids for “The (freaking?) Locomotion.” We all thought we were pretty HIP in those days. And we were, actually. However, what we were not was “hip-hop.”
It has been suggested that, “all this Freak dancing is inspired by rap artists, rap lyrics and the overly sexual images in hip-hop videos.” I agree. Those videos look pretty sexy to me. That is, when those sexy professionals dance.
However, I must ask this question. Why aren’t today’s students laughing? It has to be a hilarious sight with all those non-sexy amateurs trying to ape the hip-hop dancers they watch on music videos. Bumping and grinding? Straddling each other's legs? Bending over, dancing front-to-back? Grinding? Touching breasts, buttocks or genitals, and making out? That should be pretty hysterical stuff. Has the hip-hop generation completely lost its sense of humor? All those high-school geeks we all remember so well back in the 60s weren’t nearly as funny. Gag me with a spoon (spoon: to kiss, embrace, or fondle with sexual passion)!
Does anyone have a comment on how to curb this craze before kids completely freak out? Can’t ban hip-hop videos. Wouldn’t work. That would just make them go under cover (pun intended).
I have a thought. Let the Rap singers and Hip-Hop dancers continue as before but ONLY if they display this disclaimer at the end of every video.
DO NOT TRY THIS YOURSELF.”