LLOYD THAXTON’S ROCK & ROLL ROAD SHOW TIME MACHINE

In 1961 I started building a Time Machine. This will answer your question about what I did during all those commercial breaks.

I was worried that in 40 years the teen-agers of the 60s would find it impossible to relate to popular music and could possibly succumb to mass states of depression created by an extreme lack of musical identification. I envisioned all kinds of somewhat disturbing new musical genres, two of which I labeled “Rap” and “Hip Hop.” Needless to say, I had a rather vivid imagination. And, I also had a plan.

By the year 1966, I had built the very first “Lloyd Thaxton Rock & Roll Road Show Time Machine.”

My mission: To travel 40 years into the future and gather a new top-40 hit list exclusively for, and relative to, the Baby Boomer generation (I also invented the word “Baby Boomers”).

On July 29th, 1966, I was ready to begin my momentous mission. Entering The Lloyd Thaxton Rock & Roll Road Show Time Machine, I set the dial to July 29th, 2006, exactly 40 years in the future and started the countdown at the number 40 (a totally symbolic gesture).

I held my breath as I pushed the “Go Go” button. With a loud roar, the Lloyd Thaxton Rock & Roll Road Show Time Machine dropped onto it’s specially designed turntable and started spinning at 33 revolutions a minute. After a few seconds it suddenly bumped up to 45 revolutions. When it shifted to 78 revolutions, I became quite concerned. Something was wrong. 33 to 78? I seemed to be going BACK in time instead of forward.

Then I heard a voice, ” Scotty. Beam him up.” I had never heard this expression before. Star Trek didn’t make its TV debut until September 1966. This turned out to be my first indication I was heading in the right direction. What I wasn’t sure of was landing in the right location.

Now “location, location, location,” is the most important part of this story. The Lloyd Thaxton Rock & Roll Road Show Time Machine landed smack dab in the middle of THE CANOGA PARK HIGH SCHOOL 1966 40 YEAR CLASS REUNION. Canoga Park High is in the Los Angeles San Fernando Valley. Because the school was close to the LT show’s studios, most of the 1966 class not only watched my show, but also had actually danced ON it. It was a perfect landing. NASA, eat your heart out.

I was stunned. As was the entire class of 1966 who were just sitting, starring with mouths agape. I knew they were asking themselves, “Who is this short white haired guy? Where did he come from?" “Hi,” I said. “I’m Lloyd Thaxton.” There was a long moment of silence and then everyone yelled, “SO WHAT!” I smiled. I knew I was truly in the right place at the right time.

I explained how I happened to be there and the purpose of my mission to establish a new Top-40 song list relative to Baby Boomers. “I’m going to start you off with five songs.” I said, "Come up with the remaining 35. There is only one rule. All Baby Boomer Top Forty Hits must relate to your way of life today. Though many of you still feel like it, you are not teen-agers anymore. So, absolutely no Rap or Hip Hop allowed."

And then I introduced my start-off list:

Number one: “Herman’s Hermits: Mrs. Brown You’ve Got a Lovely WALKER.”

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Number two: “Helen Reddy: I Am Woman, Hear me SNORE.”

MORE LAUGHTER - LOUDER APPLAUSE

Number three: “The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend A Broken HIP?”

THE ROOM WENT WILD.

Number four: “Leo Sayer: You Make Me Feel Like NAPPING.”

“One more,” I announced, “and you’re on your own.”

Number five: Roberta Flack: The first Time Ever I FORGOT Your Face.”

At that point the whole room started to spin. I realized that it wasn’t the room. It was The Lloyd Thaxton Rock & Roll Road Show Time Machine warning me it was time to go back to 1966.

During the pandemonium that followed, I yelled out “The rest is up to you Baby Boomers. Come up with at least thirty-five more.”

And then, to the tune of the Lloyd Thaxton theme, The Lloyd Thaxton Rock & Roll Road Show Time Machine was gone.

I hope my Baby Boomer fans will not disappoint me and always remember the date July 29th, 2006. I’m going to leave the comment section on this blog up and running for a while so you can post your suggestions for …

THE 2006 BABY BOOMER TOP FORTY

P.S. I know a lot of you might find it hard to believe any part of the above. If so, you would be so wrong. I most certainly did “appear” at the Canoga Park High School 1966 40-year reunion and I did read my list of songs. As for the Time Machine: well, it certainly felt like I had traveled forward in time. And thanks to my wonderful Canoga Park High School fans, it was a grand experience.

Now get going on that list.

And look for The Lloyd Thaxton Rock & Roll Road Show Time Machine coming soon to your neighborhood.

Stay tuned.