NOBODY LIKES A BADMOUTHER

I’m not all that familiar with Britney Spears serious show business side. The only thing I really know about her is what I read while in line at the supermarket. And it all seems to be bad. Bad driver. Bad Drinker. Bad barber (“Just a little off the top please”). Bad dresser (“I see Paris. I see France. I don’t see Britney’s underpants”). And, a bad mother.

The only time I actually saw Britney perform was while sitting in an airport restaurant and she was on the TV. It was a music video and I thought she looked quite talented and sexy. She had all the famous Michael Jackson steps down pat and she was terrific. My first thought was that this person is going to be a big star.


What happened to this talented person?

It appears she might have succumbed to an extremely catchy malady, which preys on young performers called “Celebritymenandgitus.” This causes a celebrity to become bald and act ugly way before their time.



I can overlook most of her transgressions. Many a person has taken a fall and climbed back to redeem themselves (praise the re-hab). However, there is one thing that I cannot forgive. Britney Spears is a bad MOUTHER.

Now I know, the transgression I speak of happened some time ago on September 9, 2007, but I just can’t get it out of my head. It was the MTV Video Music Awards and, according to the reports, “she appeared aloof, uncertain of her moves and she was unable to convincingly lip-sync her own hit, “Gimme More.”

Years ago, the definition for the word, “lip-sync,” was “The mouthing of records.”

Thus I make my claim that Britney Spears problem is that she is a BAD MOUTHER.

Most of her fans are pissed that she was MOUTHING one of her songs in the first place. Chill out! There is nothing wrong with mouthing a record. You just have to be good at it.

I did it for years and no one wrote bad things about me. Of course I didn’t shave my head or force my kids to drive the car. However, I have to admit that many times I did leave the house without wearing panties. But, that was a guy thing.

And, I was a good mouther.

The biggest artists in the world mouth recordings. They do it on music videos, movies, concerts and TV shows. Why do they do this? Try this some time: jump rope and sing. Tough stuff. No one wants to hear a person trying to dance and sing who’s out of breath.

How many of you have wreathed in anguish listening to a celebrity try to sing the star spangled banner at a football or baseball game while 50,000 fans are holding their hearts trying to keep it from stopping. Whitney Houston's version of The Star Spangled Banner, sung at Super Bowl 25 in 1991, is considered the best ever done. She really nailed it. How? According to Wikipedia, she performed the song using a pre-recorded version. In other words, she mouthed it. If so, it didn’t take anything away from the performance. It was awesome.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH

However, Britney Spears’ recent bad mouthing reminded me of the comedian who had a recent nose job. He said, after blowing one of his lines, “I had my nose fixed and now my mouth doesn’t work.”

Britney Spears, you are a very talented young lady.


Your many fans are still behind you and you can still get your career back in sync. You can even keep on mouthing your records. But, whatever you do, don’t get your nose fixed.

Look what happened to Michael Jackson?

Stay tuned.