Stories and insight in the world of showbiz and beyond.

Monday, September 24, 2007

NOBODY LIKES A BADMOUTHER


I’m not all that familiar with Britney Spears serious show business side. The only thing I really know about her is what I read while in line at the supermarket. And it all seems to be bad. Bad driver. Bad Drinker. Bad barber (“Just a little off the top please”). Bad dresser (“I see Paris. I see France. I don’t see Britney’s underpants”). And, a bad mother.

The only time I actually saw Britney perform was while sitting in an airport restaurant and she was on the TV. It was a music video and I thought she looked quite talented and sexy. She had all the famous Michael Jackson steps down pat and she was terrific. My first thought was that this person is going to be a big star.


What happened to this talented person?

It appears she might have succumbed to an extremely catchy malady, which preys on young performers called “Celebritymenandgitus.” This causes a celebrity to become bald and act ugly way before their time.



I can overlook most of her transgressions. Many a person has taken a fall and climbed back to redeem themselves (praise the re-hab). However, there is one thing that I cannot forgive. Britney Spears is a bad MOUTHER.

Now I know, the transgression I speak of happened some time ago on September 9, 2007, but I just can’t get it out of my head. It was the MTV Video Music Awards and, according to the reports, “she appeared aloof, uncertain of her moves and she was unable to convincingly lip-sync her own hit, “Gimme More.”

Years ago, the definition for the word, “lip-sync,” was “The mouthing of records.”

Thus I make my claim that Britney Spears problem is that she is a BAD MOUTHER.

Most of her fans are pissed that she was MOUTHING one of her songs in the first place. Chill out! There is nothing wrong with mouthing a record. You just have to be good at it.

I did it for years and no one wrote bad things about me. Of course I didn’t shave my head or force my kids to drive the car. However, I have to admit that many times I did leave the house without wearing panties. But, that was a guy thing.

And, I was a good mouther.

The biggest artists in the world mouth recordings. They do it on music videos, movies, concerts and TV shows. Why do they do this? Try this some time: jump rope and sing. Tough stuff. No one wants to hear a person trying to dance and sing who’s out of breath.

How many of you have wreathed in anguish listening to a celebrity try to sing the star spangled banner at a football or baseball game while 50,000 fans are holding their hearts trying to keep it from stopping. Whitney Houston's version of The Star Spangled Banner, sung at Super Bowl 25 in 1991, is considered the best ever done. She really nailed it. How? According to Wikipedia, she performed the song using a pre-recorded version. In other words, she mouthed it. If so, it didn’t take anything away from the performance. It was awesome.


However, Britney Spears’ recent bad mouthing reminded me of the comedian who had a recent nose job. He said, after blowing one of his lines, “I had my nose fixed and now my mouth doesn’t work.”

Britney Spears, you are a very talented young lady.


Your many fans are still behind you and you can still get your career back in sync. You can even keep on mouthing your records. But, whatever you do, don’t get your nose fixed.

Look what happened to Michael Jackson?

Stay tuned.

17 Comments:

Blogger Gary said...

I prefer Christina Aguilera. 'nuff said.
NEXT!
Gary

4:25 PM

 
Blogger Gaylel said...

Ok, Uncle Lloyd..

This woman..well I just hope and pray that she does not really self-destruct like others--oh, I forgot she and Lindsay and Paris and the list goes on and on are already at the "Eve of Destruction" as Barry Mc Guire would say.

--Gayle

8:06 PM

 
Anonymous Arthur said...

Hi Lloyd,

Thanks for the post! PLEASE, try not to go so long without a post if you can... Your comments are missed.

Art

12:42 PM

 
Anonymous lloyd thaxton said...

TO ARTHUR:

I try to keep the postings coming, but I'm distracted by the LT DVD, I've got new animated TV show in the works, and I've started making speeches titled, "0 to 80 in 30 minutes.

Also I don't post unless something strikes me that I feel is worth doing.

I'll try harder. Thanks for your nice words. I really appreciate everybody's comments.

Would be great if when a person posts a comment, they put where they are from. Not personal addresses but the city and state. That would help me figure where you are all coming from ... you know what I'm saying?

Lloyd

Oh. Don't forget to check out the clip of Whitney Houston singing the Star Spangled Banner. Just click where it says "CLICK HERE TO WATCH." You won't be sorry. It's AWESOME.

3:06 PM

 
Blogger Gary said...

Just to let ya'll know....I am Gary from Duluth, MN
NEXT!!
Gary from Duluth, MN

5:07 PM

 
Blogger Mike Barer said...

Looks like she was wearing undies in that picture.

11:03 PM

 
Anonymous Blas Vallejo said...

Lloyd,... this Britney Spears mishap and ouline you wrote about is really very funny and clever. It has 'The Lloyd Thaxton Touch" which translates to art. I enjoyed it very much and it made me laugh.

Thanks for the positive vibes Lloyd. Wish there were more like you but just like "Popeye"
There is only one "Lloyd Thaxton"

Sincerely Blas (the Oldies Time Traveler) Vallejo

8:17 AM

 
Blogger Lauren said...

Hi Lloyd,
I was impressed by The Whitney Houston performance back then..I was working at the local ABC affiliate. We had it on tape from the network and I had the engineers save it for sign-off...back when we had one night where we signed off!

Lauren
Eugene, Oregon

8:48 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Lloyd ; How many performers lip-sync'd back in the 60's ? I was watching an old Hollywood Palace the other night and I'd bet that Vicki Carr was "mouthing " her record.......LOL........Just curious.

Jim

9:45 PM

 
Blogger Lloyd Thaxton said...

Hi Jim:

I really have no idea how many were "mouthing" their own records in the 60s. I would guess that it would be a lot.

Lip-syncing was quite common in live performances WAY BACK THEN because it was impossible to create that recorded "wall of sound" in a live performance.

Who cares? The artist IS singing along with his/her original recording (unlike someone I know who used to do a TV show and "mouthed" everyone else's voice. SHAME!!).

Lloyd

9:02 AM

 
Anonymous chuck said...

I'm so glad you included Whitney's anthem rendition in this edition.
There are just 2 aural events that set me off, spine-tingle - throat-lump, etc.
They are Pavarotti's Nessun Dorma and this Whitney. Great stuff!

Chuck

2:28 PM

 
Anonymous td said...

Hi Mr Thaxton, Sorry to butt in ot. Is there a link to email or otherwise contact you?

thanks,
Tom
tduncan at spectralmedia dot com

8:13 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No comment on the BS antics; but wanted to say that I had forgotten that tremendous performance by Whitney Houston and I thank you for including it. I always look forward to the Star Spangled Banner during televised sporting events and WH's version is tops. Thanks for including in your BLOG.

I also wanted to say that I heard about your BLOG from my mother and began reading a few months ago. Great stuff! I'm too young to remember your show but look forward to the DVD. I do remember seeing your first quarter many, many times. I didn't know the story behind it, I only knew that it belonged to "someone." Grampa Thaxton was a great man and you are fortunate to have had him for a parent.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading!

Thanks.

Becky Bedee Dent
Toledo, Ohio

12:05 PM

 
Blogger Lloyd Thaxton said...

Dear Anonymous Becky:

Thanks for the comment. Methinks I spot a possible member of my clan. Next time you clique into my blog, leave an email address.

Instead of being an Anonymouse Cliquer, I will make you a real Mouse Cliquer. Anonymice are so unknown.

Lloyd

1:58 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:48 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just found your blog Lloyd. It's funny how things from the past stick in your head, but every time I see or hear your name, I see you running down the street to the tune of "Keep on Runnin'" by The Spencer Davis Group. Maybe you remember doing that. There's a case to be made that you invented music video. You made afternoons in South Carolina more fun.

11:45 AM

 
Anonymous JD said...

Hi, Lloyd

I was so thrilled to discover you have a blog. I such was a big fan of The Lloyd Thaxton Show. Someone told me you have DVDs of your show available for sale. Please let me know how to order them. Thanks, Lloyd -- and Happy Holidays! JD

5:22 PM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home